Today on FB one of my friends posted the following:
“I understand why people elope.”
And many of the commenters agreed with her due to drama and costs associated with the modern day wedding.
Ok, so I thought about this a while ago and I don’t actually think weddings were always so much drama. I think that dating and relationships and weddings have gotten out of control recently because culture has changed drastically yet the rules that govern relationships are just as they always were.
For example, when it comes to weddings…back in the day people used to get married at church. Just like they get baptized at church, dedicate/christen babies at church or get funeralized at church. Afterall, a wedding is a religious ceremony just like all of the others right? Also, folks got married at a time in life when they didn’t have anything, so it was largely the parents funding the shindig and inviting mostly their friends to the reception. I think it was even tradition for the engagement ring to be a family jewel passed down and women back in the day actually could sew and many made their own wedding dresses or wore the ones preserved that were passed down. So basically a wedding was a church ceremony followed by your parents throwing you a dinner party and inviting their friends to give you gifts to start your life.
Fast forward to now…the bride and the groom fund the event so it has to be lavish for no good reason (Sadly, I’ve seen lavish weddings result in divorces), we don’t even think to use churches as venues anymore but venues that cost an arm and a leg, and because we are the ones throwing it, we invite our friends and ask them to give us gifts which is where most of the drama comes from. So I agree with the idea of eloping or just getting back to the simplicity of a traditional wedding to cut costs and drama. What would be wrong with a simple wedding in that nice backyard of your parent’s house or in the church? What would be so wrong about altering a preserved dress or making your own? What would be so wrong with a guy giving a family jewel instead of spending the equivalent of a downpayment on a house on a ring?
Why are we so committed to creating such a lavish, fairytale, wedding experience?
Wedding pic from the 40s/50s juxtaposed with over the top wedding reception decor from a modern day wedding.